The Shut-in Stand-Up

A comedic look at modern life from the perspective of a traumatized but standing up shut-in.

marriage because equality doesn’t mean it’s the same

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Marriage Equality did not collapse Canadian society

Gays have been able to serve in Canada’s military since 1992.


Secular Marriage is 2 but Religious Marriage is a threesome


Secular marriage is two people exclusive of all others.

Religious marriage is two humans plus God – kinkiest threesome

Religious Marriage is also a man and as many women as his community leader is willing and able to assign to him with a three wife minimum.

Cultural Polyandry is a woman married to two men, usually brothers.


So which is the most wholesome and monogamous marriage?

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Gay Marriage means Happy Marriage


Gay Sex does not result in abortions

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Memo to North Carolina Re Adam and Steve

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Banality of Wholesome Evil

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Jesus Weeps


Big Foot

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Why Marriage Isn’t Gay

Because most married people aren’t happy people all on their own.

But Gay People are gay because we are happy – despite the hardships of being gay in the straight world.

So straight people – you make Gay People Sad and you make yourselves miserable trying to be so straight as an example to the rest of us, I guess, maybe?

Maybe if straight people would relax and stop trying to make everyone be like them – that they might consider – they aren’t happy as they are….

So why would us gay people – heterosexual and homosexual happy people – want to be like Straight Laced Straight Heterosexuals?


Which brings me to today’s Facebook Adventure – since, as a shut in – I can’t go out and interact with people in person to bring funny stories or my jokes – so I have to live online – and never having been agoraphobic before in my life – I am that rare person who not only enjoys public speaking – but  seek out audiences of all sizes or kinds whereever I am.

So becoming agoraphobic is something of a social dampener – as you can imagine.


I mean – just think about it – all the friends and family that you have right now – being the last people you can ever know in person – because you can’t leave your house and meet anyone new.

Luckily, with the social media outlets in the Web 2.0 world – most people now live virtually than in reality – so the internet is the greatest social equalizer ever!

so the conversations possible are now endless – no more Zero-Sum!

Let the leveraged interest games begin!


starting with a straight pal of mine – name deleted for his privacy because I didn’t ask permission – he posted something to support the Gay Marriage Movement in America.

And, as a Canadian, I have a slightly different take – given that in Canada – gay marriage became the law of the land in 2003 – coast to coast – because Canada is a Federation not a Republic – so the powers of US States are not the powers of Canadian Provinces.

And the powers of the Canadian Federal Government are much broader and strengthening – nationwise – than American’s Federal Government of their Republic.

so the relationship between Canadians is not the same as the relationship between Americans.

And, I will say up front – this isn’t very Canadian of me – but – as Canadians – most of us love America and the rest of us are horrified by America’s inability to understand that matters that are of internal interest to Americans are not interesting to the rest of the world.

But, given how America has behaved on the world stage while waging an eternal civil war – it is clear to anyone outside of America – even and maybe especially all those Americans who have been – for decades – as far back as the 1970’s by my counting – pretending to be Canadians when you travel abroad.

Because – and this is something we’ve all been too Canadian to say, because we do adore America’s brash bravado – it’s why we’re content to let you do all the heavy lifting so we can surgically assert ourselves as the world’s peacekeepers.

But there’s something that no one has been willing or perhaps able to say to Americans – and this is the hard part, America, it’s not because we’re in awe of you or intimidated by you – we are in fact telling you, over and over and in many ways and forms:

so, I am just going to say this straight up and out:

America – You are not Canada, and none of you are fooling anyone.

And, Canada is asking you to stop and think – that with all that America has done positively for the world – and there has been SIGNIFICANT GOODNESS done by America – and that goodness is what has made America the great country that it was – once upon a time.

Because the idea of founding a nation on the idea that the INDIVIDUAL – not the community group, not the clan or tribe, not the family clan – but the INDIVIDUAL is the SUPREME SOCIAL UNIT OF CONSEQUENCE – who has the freedom to take liberties with whatever makes you happy.

The founding of America is by any reasonable measure – one of the top 10 most important events in history.

But, America, you’ve been engaged in an uncivil internal civil war ever since and you’ve been resting on your laurels – and patting yourselves on the head and telling yourself what a good job you’ve done and you don’t understand why the world doesn’t love and adore you and be content to sit at your feet soak up all the goodness that you have to share with the world – like Canada does.

so – here’s a message from a Canadian who adores you and can’t stand any longer to see you in pain, my Siblings.

You did one good thing – declared that INDIVIDUALS matter.

But look at the mess you have individually and collectively as individuals – have made of your own best nation on earth – then ask yourself:

Is it really any wonder, why no one wants to have you over for dinner?


because when you stop being top-down, dominant-submissive – basically when you stop all the zero sum bickering – just look how much more interesting and funny, the conversation can get between two people who agree and LIKE EACH OTHER but have very different perspectives about the same issue:


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