The Shut-in Stand-Up

A comedic look at modern life from the perspective of a traumatized but standing up shut-in.

Empathy vs Altruism

on October 21, 2012



One response to “Empathy vs Altruism

  1. Nina says:

    Reblogged this on Living Well and commented:

    problem solving is not empathy

    problem solving is an intellectual process by which one avoids dealing with the feeling by changing both the context of the conversation away from feelings

    and by attempting to then alter the circumstances in a way to avoid triggering or facing said feelings

    empathy is about feeling other people’s feelings – good or bad

    empathy is simply understanding other people’s feelings because they are presumably similar to your own

    both being the same species and with the same spectrum of capacities.

    Bonus points for readers who knew they were getting a demonstration of the second intellectually dodge or feelings avoidance mechanism.

    agoraphobic philosopher
    October 21. 2012
    1 PM

    Dearest Readers.


    I have finally conquered the daily anxiety that I experience just from sitting in front of my computer.

    Now I realize that that might sound like a strange thing to say..
    After all, what is Nina Tryggvason other than a computer geek?
    A writer, a graphics designer. everything she does for enjoyment involved a computer.

    and everything I did for work or volunteering, also involved a computer.

    You know. all that blogging and facebook.

    Well. Dearest Readers.

    Facebook was cheaper and more effective than therapy, because on Facebook. I had one thing on line that I did not have in my actual life.

    Control over the conversation.

    I can control who I talk to. How I talk to them and what I talk to them about.

    But mostly, I get control over who I do not have to talk to.

    Being able to block people or simply leave groups was one of the MOST IMPORTANT STEPS that I took to begin my recovery process.

    Because blocking other people – and I know there is another thinking feeling human being on the other side of the words – no matter what the person posts or how they behave – nicely or a troll –

    because no machine has passed the Turin Test.

    So being able to say to myself

    I AM VALUABLE ENOUGH to not have to waste time with a person who cannot behave in a manner that is acceptable to me.

    No matter what it is that “acceptable means”.

    Because let me tell everyone simething right now.

    I was never raped as a child and I was never raped as an adult woman.

    But that does not mean that I do not know what that feels like.

    Based in a lot of factors that I am not sharing right now.

    But consider this.

    My self esteem started to return with the action of simply blocking another person on facebook from telling me that they thought I was a nice person who posted helpful things on my timeline.

    So. tell me you understand what I feel or have an idea of what I went through.

    IF you can relate to that simple action that I just shared.

    I block a person THIS WEEK on facebook
    for telling me that they thought that I was nice and they admired me.

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