The Shut-in Stand-Up

A comedic look at modern life from the perspective of a traumatized but standing up shut-in.

So… Stephen Harper

on February 2, 2012

From Wikipedia – for whatever that’s worth:

the entry: Anti-Canadaism


An example of conservative anti-Canadianism arose in 1997 when Stephen Harper, who was at the time vice-president of the conservative lobby group the National Citizens Coalition, stated he believed “Canada is a Northern European welfare state in the worst sense of the term, and very proud of it.”[17] The speech was made to members of the American conservative think tank the Council for National Policy. In the years since, claims have been made both that Harper’s words were heartfelt, and that they were not, and that he was embellishing for the benefit of his audience. Harper himself dismissed the comments when they were cited by the centre-left Liberal Party in attack ads against him during the 2006 Canadian federal election, saying that they were meant as humour, not serious analysis.[18] (Harper became prime minister of Canada in 2006.)


Which makes me wonder – if Mr Harper has that low an opinion of Canada – why did he want to be the leader of the nation he doesn’t seem – even now – to want to be a part of.

He is against the Charter of Rights and his first act as PM was to terminate the Charter Challenge Program – you know the one program that all Canadians could access to individually assert rights that had not yet been collectively won or established in law.


As if to say, Canadians are only those who already had rights – before 1985.

AS it, or maybe perhaps, or maybe Mr Harper isn’t being as clear or even perhaps clearer than he realizes.

Because I’ve noticed a few things about Mr. Harper and I’d like to share them with you.

Mr. Harper doesn’t seem to love Canada and he seems very particular about which segments or parts of Canada that he likes. I am sure that there are aspects and things about Canada that he does love – but Canada isn’t any of it’s parts: Canada is the sum of all the parts working together and bumping uglies to compete with each other to create our shared Canadian identity – which – if you’ve spent as much time as I have – talking to people around the world, you’d know what I know.

People don’t know anything about Canada, except that it’s snow covered.

And we need to fix that image, because I went to Alaska this summer on Vacation and I learned something that really disturbed me – there’s only THREE GLACIERS LEFT.

We don’t have time to argue about what part people have – because when I was born in 1968 – in the 1970s, we were worried about an Ice Age – because we had gone longer than the average interval and where within the outside known range of intervals, but we’ve gone passed the normal bell curve distribution and the chances of there being one is getting more remote. and that means, it’s too late because once the earth starts to really heat up – there won’t be enough water to form ice at the poles and cool the whole thing down again.

Mr. Harper likes to talk about how much he admires America and to be fair – there’s a lot about America to admire. To be fair, there’s a lot about America – about any nation and that includes Canada – that could be improved.

I am all for improvements – because improvements break up the zero sum status quo stalemate. And, as one thing that Mr. Harper said that I really do agree with – when you hit the wall there’s no sense banging your head against it.

And I have hit that wall and I have looked up to see who has pulled up – all of the knotted ropes that all Canadians are supposed to be able to use – our Equality Rights – to climb up those ropes and get over the wall.

I didn’t take their names, but I got their types: GOPS and Mean Girls.

I forgive – as of this moment – ever single slight that was done against my person by anyone who ever met me – as I hope that they forgive whatever slight I may have inadvertently but without maliceĀ  that I might have caused to people.

However, those few people who sensed or became aware that I didn’t approve of you in some way – that was also without malice – because that was indifference to the Drama, Self Aggrandising and Self Important – greedy – and high handed manner that you behaved towards – not only me, but to all of the people that made up the volunteer or workplace teams of people who shared whatever world or arena – be that in any of the community groups or workplaces on my resume. And there’s 10 pages to my full resume – and that’s limiting it to only adult jobs.

Because I have come to understand something about my self and this is not diagnosed, but I think that I have Canadian Turrets Syndrome – and what that means is that instead of shouting out horrible things – I shout out, well, cold splashes of Canadian water – common sense, Miss Manners approved – other than when I was ever stunned by hypocritcal or evil or self serving behaviors – all my impulse control and edit switches failed and I blurted things out like:

“no, you can’t create a forum on your company website for our community group’s membership benefit because as a board member of this group, the group may not endorse your personal and private business over other members of the group who aren’t on the board and have similar private businesses.”

I brought what I learned what was good from government – conflict of interest – into the board discussions of Non-Profits and I brought the passion of non-profits into my government job.

And that’s what landed me in trouble – because while I was a federal public service employee, I thought like a community social activist – but inside the government, I was no longer limited to serving a specific or narrow or special interest community – I got to be the champion for all Canadians.

And unfortunately, the secrecy oath I swore, prevents me from telling you some of my government career, but the oath is limited to keeping the secrets that are properly secrets – as defined and understood by me by legislation, policy and directives.

The good part for me is that the oath – and the whistle blower legislation – does allow me to talk about what management does when it fails to comply with policy.

The bad part is that there’s a department that us civil service people are supposed to make our complaints known to before blowing whistles and ringing bells.

But, that department – who’s name escapes me because when I tried to read the policy of how to submit complaints, it was so confusing – and there were already newspaper reports that of the several hundred complaints that made it over the “File Process Wall” – not a one was found to have merit.

Now, not a one? Doesn’t that seem really unrealistic to you?

Federal Civil Service people – willing to stick out their neck and risk their job and their sanity – and not a one made a claim that was possible or likely to be true?

Because if you know anything about Civil Service employees, know this:

The only thing worse than getting between a bear and her cubs – is getting between a Civil Service employee and free food in the lunchroom.

We do not willingly put our heads in nooses or our necks on the gallows line.

But I did. And that’s saying maybe too much, right there.


oh – somehow, this bit got moved out of place, but it seems so much better here now:


Because if you thought that I was cold and reserved and thwarted you – then I’d like you to take a minute to consider what it was like for everyone else – being caught between my cool indifference to you and your fury and anger at my lack of response.

And ask yourself – who was the most stress causing person – the one who ignored you and your up in everyone’s face and business and grill or whatever the slang is this week. Year, I get them confused sometimes.



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