The Shut-in Stand-Up

A comedic look at modern life from the perspective of a traumatized but standing up shut-in.

Equality Raises Everyone’s Social Standing


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Unsexy Commericals vs Social Attitudes


 

And Sex sells everything from beer to singers – which is why Conservative Religion doesn’t sell – because their kind of kink is hard to sell to a mass audience.

I mean – if you’re going to make sex boring and disallow drugs – and Christian Rock is so many kinds of moron…….

 

There is a humor section in feminist bookstores, you just have to know how to look.

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Vagina Monologs are all about straight women


 

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Self-Centred Enlightment


A dear friend of mine – who has been helping me to get out from under difficult times – sent me this.

Now, My Friend is an American and a Southern Gentlemen – I adore Southern Gentlemen more than anyone who knows me suspects – even though everyone who knows anything about me knows – that I am crazy about Elvis Presley.

He just does something to me that – well, you see – all women are sexually flexible – and I live in Canada – so there are no Southern Gentlemen in Canada – which is partly why – I chose to be a Lesbian.

Because – after you’ve had Elvis – singing in your ears and filling your eyes and making you feel things – well, there’s really nothing that any man can do that compares to Elvis.

And my Southern Gentleman caller – he knows that I am Canadian and that I live in Vancouver BC – Gateway to the Pacific Rim.

So he sent me that image to give me comfort – because when he reads what I write – I think that he thinks that I am a buddhist – and the guy in the picture – he’s very popular in Hollywood.

But I live in Canada – and while Americans and Canadians use the same language – we are not speaking the same meanings or understandings of things.

Because the Dali Lama plays well in America – because Americans have such a terror of communism – that they’d rather support the Tibetian kind of self-serving so called enlightment – where monks navel gaze and the peasants do all the labour.

And in China – well, they stamped out that kind of buddhism centuries ago – and I would think that Americans should be appreciating Chinese Zen Buddhism – which requires Monks to grow and labour and support themselves

and not enslave the peasants to support monks who navel gaze.

 

Just as there are different kinds of Christianity, so there are different kinds of Buddhism and there are different kinds of Communism.

And if you understand history and you read the books that impacted history – you will understand that the kind of communism that Karl Marx came up with was never going to happen in the world – and he wanted the workers of the world to rise up and demand that they benefit from their own labours – basically – what Occupy Wall Street – said less effectively for fear of being branded a communist.

And the kind of communism that happened in the former USSR and in China – well, that wasn’t communism – that was a Peasant Revolt – and Marx was an intellectual who did not care and was not interested in peasants – because he wanted the workers – who had money and resources to unite and crush the aristocracy in Europe.

The equivalent to the aristocracy in the America are the self-styled Captains of Industry.

 

So here’s another lesson that I learned from paying attention to history:

Real aristocrats know not to flaunt their wealth and power over peasants – because peasants – have no place lower to go – so peasants – when they have enough – they revolt – and the aristocracy – lose their heads and their cake.

But workers – workers are harder to get to revolt – because the American dream has caused people not to dream and rise through the levels of society – the American dream has become a zero sum slugfeast – and most people are not trying to better themselves – they are trying to hold everyone else down.

Sort of – if you and a friend are in the woods and you see a bear – you don’t have to out run the bear – just your friend

that is not the best way to solve the problem of getting away from a bear

Because any Canadian will tell you – the best way to not be eaten by a bear – is to make a lot of noise so the bear runs away from you.

 

So Memo to America: re: Tibet

Tibetans are better off under China rule than Dali Lama Rule.

 

And this is the email, that I sent to my friend –

 

Good thought – not the best role model.

I think that we might want to talk about religion.

You do understand that I am an atheist – not his kind of Buddist?

If I were to be a Buddhist, it would be of the Zen Chinese brand

Not the Tibet self centered enlightened kind.

 

and my friend wrote back to me:

I was simply looking at the words.  What got me was the ambiguity of the words.  Like a phone salesman calling  and asking do you like saving money?

 

and I wrote back to him:

 

Relief.

You see, In Canada – the social convention is a little different than in America

We don’t talk about sex, because unless you’re inviting someone – why bother?

We don’t talk about religion, because it’s believed you can’t change anyone’s views – but I have proven that wrong many times.

We do talk about politics – because we loves our political scandal – but given what our politicians look like – it’s all gaffes and career flame outs – nothing sexual in the scandals.

What we really do not like to talk about: is money.

 

 

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Walking Wounded


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Canadian Dominatrix talks to a regular American


Americans are so zero-sum that they don’t know how to recognize when a Canadian tops them.

 

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Undecided Voters


I have never understood how people can’t decide how to vote – in their own best interest balanced against the betterment of society.

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The Value of a Scientific Education


Why is it critical to teach evolution in biology class and not any ridiculous controversy:

smock vs labcoat re: social commentary

Commiserating solves nothing – songs with messages get lost being in a song

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Mother Teresa – by her own words – was evil


SMDB people are way less kinky than religious people

and at least, SMBD people are smart enough to install: A Safe Word

I offer my humble suggestion – a safe word to use when anyone gets religious in your face:  the Safe Word to stop Religiously Kinky from trying to Top You when You Don’t want to bottom for them is Atheist.

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Guest Blogger: Prince of Colour


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