The Shut-in Stand-Up

A comedic look at modern life from the perspective of a traumatized but standing up shut-in.

Sacred Cows


The higher the demand for respect – or rather reverence – the higher the scrutiny the belief or claim should be subjected to; and, the reality is, that some sacred cows are destined to become hamburgers.

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Piracy and then there’s piracy


Funny how downloading gets such a bad rap yet, never a word is said about simply recording off the TV….

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art receptors


anything is only as shallow or as deep as the viewer’s capacity to make connections between their knowledge of the world and the world of the art

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Free Will


That the observer actually effects an outcome in the quantum world suggests to some that we have Free Will, but an unintended impacted with unpredictable results suggests not so much Free Will as much as chaos theory.

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Big Business


Being a monopoly is never having to say “customer service”

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Cryogenics


We always seem to think how neat it would be to be frozen or put in statis and woken up in a better future.

But no one seems to ever wonder what the incentive in the future would be to wake any of us frozen humanosaurs up.

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Quiet Enjoyment


Opponents of gay marriage are certainly acting like their enjoyment of their marriage is lessened if any or everyone can get married.

I guess that’s the same mentality that would allow them to enjoy heaven all while knowing that others are being eternally tortured in hell.

It’s not fun unless it’s exclusive.

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Being your own client


I know a lawyer who represents themselves has a fool for a client, but what is it when the therapist has themselves as a client?

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Homeopathy


Homeopathy is the idea that a substance transfers it’s properties to water that it is dissolved in, and that the substance’s properties and vital essence is a concentration which turns into medicine when you dilute it further until you end up with water with not a molecule of the original substance in it.

I think that the number of times you dilute the original dilution is basically the number of times a practitioner would need to dilute a solution of their own pee before they’d drink it as an antidote to everything that’s wrong with them.

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Degrees of Equality


Equality isn’t a black man being elected president, equality will be when a black man running for office is as unremarkable as a white man doing the same.

Equality is when an adjective man is just a man.

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